The Decisions That We Make that Brings Us Here Today
by Sophia.w.mystification
Summary: Hermione has always been running and never looking back because she dares not out of shame and that she couldn't save those she loved the most , shame because she is nothing but when she ends up in 1949 without any clue how she got there,she gives herself a new mission;kill Tom Riddle and avenge her loved ones. This is a tomione.
1. Chapter 1

The decisions that we make

One day maybe I will regret the decisions that leads up to this day….maybe name is Hermione Jean Granger and today I get married to Tom Marvolo Riddle. And this is our story.

One day I found myself wandering uselessly in Diagon alley,I walked alone,quiet not wanting anyone to disturb me.I was too lost in the world of agony , lost in the memories that haunted my life,day and step brought me new painful memories;Ron's terrible etiquette, Harry's smile ….Harry's green orb's piercing me and his last words before his death,

"Live on…and remember me''

But how?How in the bloody world was I supposed live on without my two boys?How was I supposed to fall asleep when all I can hear is Ron's snoring when I know that he is dead!How? All I can remember next is walking then running, running away from my life,from the war , all the death's that have happened!How can I live on when Draco is dead!My darling Draco ,clever ,cunning to the last moments of his death .Why didn't I save them?How can I escape the evil when it is everywhere?My answer :Run and never look so that's what I exactly I did ,oh how I ran ,I ran until I lost my breath , I ran for five years and lost my sanity,I lost my life and I became a piece of flesh,nothing 's until Tom Riddle found me nearly dead in Diagon Alley.

But back to the point, here I was in Diagon Alley ,lost was I?I was in Russia yesterday but now I'm in Diagon Alley and everything's different,everyone is happy,everyone is calm and dressed differently, the books are different.

"Excuse me I'm slightly lost,can you help me?''

Despite my pleas for help everyone merely stared at me ,examined me, observed how skinny I was,how my eyes were hollow with grief and loss but no one came forward to help stares of coldness.

So I was left to my own devices walking helplessly ,until I noticed the date on the newspaper ;June blood froze in fear .Why was I in 1949?How did I get here, it's impossible to use a time turner to get to this exact date,the time turner would be destroyed and wrecked because of the magic before you even got to 1000.I would be safe yes..but what would I do ?But despite the fact I lost my sanity it didn't mean that I lost my intelligence which means that if I have done my math properly Voldemort would still be at Borgin and means that I can still save everyone..and Draco! But, no one would know me except for the girl who killed a man,a man who would become the most feared wizard in the world in the summer of for the first time in a long time ,I smiled.

Please leave constructive criticism for me to help me !And please tell me if you liked it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

As I wandered around Diagon Alley,I may have looked dead but instead my mind was bursting with energy,bursting with new thoughts ,new ideas and new and inventive ways on making sure that Voldemort paid the at the end I stuck with a simple plan; I would just kill him the same way he killed the others,simple yet in my mind so ironic and funny that he would he killed by what he called a "mudblood".

I smiled at myself and began to walk confidently along the path to Knockturn Alley where I knew Voldemort would be ,hiding behind the shop like a innocent boy who just happened to be working in a shop filled with magical dark only I would truly know the real him.

Suddenly I stopped,this wasn't right,where Knockturn Alley should of been was replaced by a store called "Parrot Future Reading shop.'' I was shocked,no ,where was I ? Was this Diagon Alley so different from the future that Knockturn Alley was at a completely different location?No I couldn't be.I turned around and I finally noticed that the shops were different ,not the usual shops that you see when going to Knockturn , these shops were different ,I didn't recognize any of them and bloody hell I've been to almost everywhere in Diagon Alley.I was lost but I couldn't lose my composure I had to think,think straight,but my mind had blanked out,for the first time in a long time ,my intelligence had failed I began to ask myself questions, first question ;How did I get here?

I tried to think hard,try to think back when I started walking to what I thought was Knockturn did I see?What was I thinking?I was thinking about Voldemort,perhaps..perhaps in my haste to get to Knockturn Alley and kill him I did not look careful at which way i was going ,perhaps I took the wrong turn and kept on going until ,this is what happened,I refuse to think of any other possibilities.I refuse to believe that I blacked I refuse to believe that I may have just lost the peice of sanity that I just gained back.

But onto the greater question,how to get back on track?Which turn do I take to take me to Knockturn Alley?To tell the truth ,I didn't know the answers to any of those you see when your lost like I was and if you are scared just as bad as I brain stops working , it freezes and refuses to work and no matter how hard you plead for your brain to work and start functioning ,it stubbornly refuses.

So here I was,lost and an non functioning I did the one thing that I could think of I begin to walk back but the more I walked the more comfusing things became ,The bright colourful desigins of each shop window,the chatter of people as they walked past be , not caring one bit about I was becoming confused and began to stumble and shuffle unsure of where my feet should of conversation floated self-consciously into my ears not helping me one bit.

"I hope they sell those copies of Foremost potion making for potioneers"

"Ugh , have you seen John yet,we were supposed to meet here years ago"

I was trying to ignore them and concentrate on the task right now,finding a way to Knockturn Alley when I heard someone say

"Just because Malfoy has graduated does not mean he has to be so cocky all the time"

Malfoy...Draco oh god ,how those words hurt me like hell I felt like I was going to explode again with emotions mostly sad ones but that's when my memories came back with full vengeance,how I first met Draco , his brilliantly white smile,his perfectly parted golden cocky he was ,his amazing sense of humor,his silvery eyes and how they shone when he spoke of our future,the life that we had war destroyed it but still I can remember how we kept in touch secretly and how he promised that as soon as the war was over we would be together.I recalled how dangerously fun it was to sneak out of our dorms and meet at our secret spot.I recollected our first kiss….how much passion there was that night .The secretive smiles we gave each other in class because we had a secret the only we knew. Then came the end,his death ,oh god how it hurt,I remembered so clearly like yesterday;A curse was aimed at me but how brave he was to jump in front of me .It hit him straight in the chest and he died within five minutes of being struck by the spell. But not before whispering the words

"Hey Granger have an amazing life and oh yeah ,I forgot to tell you ,Puddlemere United is the worst Quidditch team ever!''

And that's how he died ,still cocky and funny and brave even to death, those memories hurt like hell and by the time the flashback was over I was hunched over sobbing uncontrollably and shaking Draco how I missed him so much ,I needed him so badly .Suddenly my stomach gave into a sharp jolt of pain and I screeched in agony. The pain kept on going never stopping I thought that I was going to die,and then miraculously I actually saw Draco's smiling at me and holding out his hand.

I was just about to take it and reunite with my Draco in heaven when I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up only to see not Draco's face but the face of the devil himself;Voldemort.

Liked it or hated it?Please leave comments and give me new ideas!


	3. Chapter 3

I gasped in fear and quickly grabbed my wand pointed it straight at him!

"Don't touch me!'' I gasped in fear,this was Voldemort ;the cold-blooded murderer of everyone I I refused to let his dirty hands get on me. 

"I wouldn't consider doing that.''He said and a smooth yet silky tone.

"I am quite good at dueling,and I would utterly hate to see you get hurt.''

"Liar'' I thought bitterly,he would have loved to see me hurt,dead on the ground just like all the other people he murdered.

He stared at me openly, keeping a smooth, expressionless expression on his face.I knew that he was secretly observing me watching my every move but since two could play a game,I stared back equally expressionless.

He was clearly an anarchist;His hair was perfectly parted at the side and was carefully clothes were clean and perfectly ironed and there wasn't even a speck of dirt on it. Funniest of all , on his left hand there it was,the Gaunt's ring.A eyes was a silvery grey,a terrible reminder of a boy I once perfect disguise for a killer.

"Well" he said quietly "if you're not going to talk,then I might as well leave you here , good day ma'am.''And with that he turned around and left .

Instantly I felt stupid,I had just missed the perfect chance to kill the man I hated ,by now he should be on the ground, no! He was still alive in perfect health!Because of utter happened to being the brightest of the year?

Instantly I rashly got up and pointed my wand at his back and said "Avada Kedavra"

However he dodged , he wasn't boasting when he said he was quite good at dueling,in fact that was him being modest, he was probably best I've seen because the moment he turned around spells were hurtled at me at the speed of light.I barely had time to dodge ,I couldn't even shoot a spell at him I was too busy blocking or dodging the spells that he sent at me .I was failing miserably ,already my arms were full of cuts and bruises,I could only pray that he stopped and the god's weren't kind to me that day and he continued until I ran behind a shop corner , not daring to l , in fear that he would kill me the moment I turned around .Suddenly there was silence,nobody was moving nobody was breathing ,it was just I heard behind me him say

"I can see you,don't try to turn away,because I will catch you and I will kill you,and don't worry no one can hear you , I already put up a special charm called the Silence charm.''

I whirled around ,to see him standing there calmly in a scary way,the only difference in his appearance was that his eyes were blood red. I began to tremble in fear,his calm demeanor scared me,his blood-red eyes scared about him scared me .

"Now" he said with a smirk''I need some answers,and don't worry ,given your ahem, erratic shall start easy won't we?Who are you?''

But I refused to tell him,I will not tell him anything . If he was to learned that I was from the future , he would torture me , torture me until I blabbed everything ,until he knew everything and then he would kill not slowly ,no Voldemort is not a merciful is cruel and I shook my head in refusal to answer.

"Alright then'' he said smirking sadistically "If you refuse to answer my questions then I suppose a little curse called the hmm what is it called again ?Oh right the Cruciatus curse may help you loosen your mouth,so unless you want to be cursed I suggest you answer my are you?

Once again I refused to say I merely looked at him defiantly and shook my head,prepearing myself for the pain that was to come.

"Crucio" he said quietly

The pain was excruciating,it hurt so bad; it was like my bones were on fire and every single cell that I had in my body was being razored to death, while my intestines were being squeezed until they were nothing.I don't know how long the curse was inflicted on me,nor could I remember if anyone was watching . All I could remember was the pain,not telling him anything and screaming,oh how I screamed,I screamed until my legs gave up on me and I collpased onto the ground, I screamed until my throat was dry and was burning with fire.I screamed for Harry and Ron and I screamed for Draco.I hoped that this was all a terrible dream and that when I woke up I would be back in Russia away from the like I said the God's were not merciful that here I was endearing rounds after rounds of the Crucaitus Curse.

Suddenly it stopped,I could feel the pain begin to slip away from my body but I was aware that that even the smallest move that I made would be bring instant pain,pain that I did not want,so I stayed still and did not move,waiting for him to kill still nothing happened.I gingerly cracked open my eyes weakly,to see Voldemort crouched down beside me looking at me with the same scary , calm smile.I tried to move away from him ,but my body screamed in protest. So I said weakly

'

"You know as well I as do that I will not tell you anything, so kill me and get it over with ."

But that's when he gave me his charming,yet ruthless smile and said in a sick, childish , innocent tone

"I think not Ms Granger."


	4. Chapter 4

I gasped, and stared at him at horror. He knew, oh god, he knew who I was.I just destroyed what was left of the future. I felt so guilty and terrified. What will happen to the future? Have I changed the future dramatically?I sincerely hoped not. But I could tell that Voldemort knew everything about the future now by the look in his then grinned at me devilishly and said

"See you next time."

And with that he was gone.

I began to cry, slowly tears leaked from my eyes and traitorously dripped down my cheeks and fell onto the floor, one at a time.I had just screwed up the future, I had most definitely condemned Harry, Ron, Draco and everyone else to death! I couldn't even describe my emotion, it was grief, anger, frustration and guilt all at the same. It was the perfect combo of emotions to set me off. I couldn't believe it . Very slowly I got up, ignoring my aching muscles and the cuts and bruises that were littered all over my body. I had to find him, I had to kill for real this time before he started to kill everyone. I had still had a chance! A small chance but still a chance is a chance, right? But where would he have gone? The possibilities are endless; Knockturn Alley, his home, to his followers. Heck, for all I knew he is in Albania !

I took a deep breath, grabbed my wand and disapparated to the Forest of Dean. But when I got there my body was exhausted, and hurting all over. And before I knew it I collapsed onto the forest floor and immediately blacked out.

When I awoke, I could hear the birds chirping their lovely song and the leaves on the trees rustling. Everything felt calm and surreal, unreal. For once I felt at home and calm, like I was in my own world. In my mind I was wondering through lost memories of home, my early days at Hogwarts and how happy I was back then. How amazing it felt to feel carefree and have no worry on your shoulders. But now things are different, I have so many things to deal with; I have to destroy Voldemort, I have destroy all his Horcruxes, I need to find a way to my world without creating a paradox. And if I do create a paradox then I need to find a way to go the world where everyone is alive and well, where life is worth living. So many things to take care of. So much that I need to do in my now short and limited time. How I yearned to be dead like the others, how I wish for a miracle to happen, I wished for peace and happiness. But it seems that these days seem like the odds aren't in my favor. Because just when I thought that I might get some peace, when I opened my eyes, I heard a pop and I could feel someone's presence right beside just anyone's presence. His presence.

"Good morning Ms Granger, how fortunate that I bumped into you here! I was here merely for my regular morning walks.''

"Liar"' I said through gritted teeth, wincing at the pain I felt every time I moved ever so slightly.

"Why, of course not! Why would I ever lie to you after you helped me so much!'' He said very sweetly in a fake innocent voice.

"What do you want from me!'' I yelled " you have everything you want! I gave you information that you needed! Can you just leave me alone for once in your miserable existence!''

He smiled at me, of course he would, he enjoys feeding of my misery. And watching me be weak. Of course Voldemort would enjoy doing those things, because he is the devil himself dressed as a young man. And each word he says hits me hard.

"Goodness sake! Is this really how you treat people? No wonder it took that Malfoy boy so long to like you."

That was it, I suddenly stood up . Ignoring the pain that I felt and glared at him. No one talks about Draco like that.

"Shut up! Don't talk about him like that!'

"Or else?" He said clearly amused and my behavior.

"Or else I'll kill you.'' I said in my most deadly voice. If looks could kill, Voldemort would be dead already.

But Voldemort was clearly not threatened by my me merely looked at me like I was nothing . And that's when he made his first mistake

"You are nothing but a silly little girl with a silly little dream.'' He said airily

At first I felt a surge of anger, but then I realized how right he was; what chance did I have against him? He is clearly better than me at dueling, he knew how to be the dark lord, he knew how to get rid of the people standing in his way. What chance did I have against him? He smiled at my defeat and said

"don't worry, I'll make your death quick, a thank you for all you have done for me.''

And with that he raised his wand slowly, smiling. He was just about to shoot when the curse at me when I quickly grabbed my wand and screamed

"Stupefy!''

My spell barely hit him, in that he had dodged the spell the moment I aimed my wand at him. And so our battle began again with him shooting spells at me at an incredible pace and with me shooting defensive spells back, barely keeping up with what was going on.I quickly dodged another spell and ran deeper into the forest away from him. But alas he ran after me, impossibly fast and scary. Quickly I clutched my wand and impulsively shot another stunning spell at him but it missed him by a centimeter. But it was enough time to distract him so that I could apparate away to safety.

When I arrived I looked around slightly confused, when I apparated away all I could think of was a safe place. Where was I! Suddenly I spotted a graveyard that looked oddly familiar…..I felt a strange sense of deja vu, like I've been here before with someone. Suddenly a memory flashed by me; laying flowers on someone's grave resting on Harry's shoulder, where was I at that time? Of course! Godric's Hollow. I was in Godric's Hollow! I was safe here, there is no way that Voldemort would think of this place out all places that I would have gone,heck, he probably thought that I was back in Diagon Alley. I smiled to my smile and entered the kissing gate that lead to the graveyard. I smiled as I passed some of the same grave stones that I passed last time. I saw the "Abbots'' grave and other familiar names. I paused when I saw Arianna Dumbledore's stone. I felt a lump in my throat, so Arianna is dead. How long has she been dead? Months, years?How many times did Albus Dumbledore walk to this exact grave stone and feel remorse for her death?Once, twice or maybe even never! This is where life ended, and at that moment all I could think of is all the people who died, all the people who never got a proper burial. How many people have died because of me? I felt tears slide down my cheeks leaving a burning trail behind that's when I heard the same familiar pop behind me , again and once again I heard his displeasing voice,

"Did you miss me?''


	5. Chapter 5

I gritted in my teeth in frustration and fear. Why was he always following me? Can't I just have one moment of peace!?

"You know, I would honestly appreciate just ten minutes of peace, please.'' I said quietly, not wanting to betray my emotions to him, again.

There was a long silent pause, all I could hear was my breathing and the leaves rustling in the wind. As the silence dragged on, I started to become very unnerved by his new I turned around and looked at him timidly. He was just standing there, the wind was blowing his hair to the side of his face. He had no emotions on his face, but his eyes told a different story; they looked amused but cold and calculating at the same time. It really unnerved me. As minutes dragged on, my body started to tense up. Suddenly I just couldn't stand it anymore,

"What are you doing, if you are just going to stand there being useless, then leave!''

"Well,'' he said luxuriously "you said that you wanted some peace for ten minutes.''

"Not like that!'' I said extremely aggravated "I meant leaving me alone completely! ''

He snorted in amusement "You're so childish!'' He laughed "Peace can be anything, a song, sleep even death!''

I shivered unconsciously, the mention of death so offhandedly set me off. He was a monster, no wait he was the devil. Only the devil could mention death and be okay with it. He smiled quietly . It was a small but still it was a smile.

He started to walk to me slowly, quietly like a wolf waiting to pounce on it's prey. I took a step back out of habit but he continued to walk to me, never breaking the speed , he was just walking. And so I continued to back away, until I felt my back touch a gravestone. Yet he still continued to advance to me until we were just barely touching. I had never been so close to him. I could hear his breath coming evenly out of his mouth. Slowly he brought his hand up to cup my face, I shivered at his cold touch. but I was trapped so I couldn't move away. Slowly I closed my eyes feeling his cold breath on my other cheek. Both my cheeks were cold. Deliberately he said

"Don't worry , ma belle. I'll make it short, you won't feel a thing. I promise, after all I owe you one.''

"Please don't'' I pleaded

My mind mentally preparing myself for death. I mentally waited in those few seconds for myself to be reunited with Draco, Harry and the moment of death never happened. I didn't see my life flash through my eyes like it was suppose to. Instead I felt nothing, I opened my eyes in shock.

He was still in the same position as when I closed my eyes. He smiled at me . his eyes full of cruel laughter. I felt shock , I didn't understand! This was not supposed to happen. I should be dead by now! But no, here I was standing here, perfectly alive and breathing. What was going one?

"My dear'' he said clearly amused " did you really think that I was going to let you off that easily? From now on, you're mine! And mine only!'' He hissed.

His grip on my face tightened, giving me a jolt of shock.I began to panic. What was going on? I could never think about the answer to that question because before I knew it, he grabbed me harshly by the waist and apparated us away to the unknown.

When we arrived , I looked around wildly , all I could see were a blur of colours of green and blues and silvers. The world was going crazy, I felt like the world was spinning around more wildly and fast-paced than usual. It scared me, I tried so hard not to scream but the harder I tried to resist the more I could feel the urge to scream. And Voldemort's grip on my waist wasn't helping either.

Suddenly just as the world seem to clear up , I looked around and my heart immediately dropped to my stomach, we were in front of a clean house, on Knockturn Alley. It could only be his house; the outside walls were gray and dismal. The windows were perfectly clean without a smudge on them but I could see dark black curtains. In general the house fit him perfectly ; dark and evil.

As we entered the house my heart began to pound wildly, I could feel pound into my veins. I closed my eyes, wanting to calm down so badly, wanting my heart to stop pounding so vigorously. But no,my heart continued to pound and soon my head began to hurt. I felt Voldemort's grip on my waist tighten even more, it was to the point where it began to feel unbearable pain. So I opened my eyes and the grip on my waist loosened, slightly. But the still the pain remained.

When I opened my eyes, I began to examine the house, It was neat, clean and precise, just like house was nicely furnished but all the furniture were either black and grey or green and silver. I began to feel my knees tremble but his grip on my waist managed to keep me from collapsing onto the floor. Once again the world started to spin wildly again and I could my pounding heart start to pound even harder. I tried to control it , but I couldn't. I could tell that he knew that I was slipping away; his grip on my waist became unbearable, I could feel him just walk slowly away but that just made the dizziness worse and I groaned. I could just hear him curse. I tried to fight back the awful dizzy darkness that was closing in on me. I could feel the world spin faster and faster, until it reached it's peak and then I felt my world disappear before my eyes and then I felt myself pass into another world.


	6. Chapter 6

As I lay in the dizzy darkness that enfolded me; I could feel the world finally closing in on me . I could feel myself fading from the world. Instead of feeling panic, I felt light happiness. The dizzy darkness was ceasing, the world was shifting back to place. I was finally ready to die. But when everything did stop, all that was left was darkness. I was confused, what was going on? I should be in heaven right now, with my loved ones, with Draco. Suddenly a jolt of panic shot through me, What is this was death? Is death just like this, you lay through a blanket of darkness and dark shapes that float around you. Was this the peaceful death that people were always talking about. Because it's definitely not peace! In fact it was scary; I couldn't move my body if was like a piece of stiff wood. The dark unknown shapes that seem to float around me were mocking me with their carefree moments. I thought of all the other people who had died, is this what they felt? Right now what I really wanted was to able to move again and laugh and run and do all the things that I used to take for granted.

Suddenly as though the god's were listening to me, I could feel the world of darkness start to disappear, I could feel myself lying on a soft fabric that was quite warm. I could hear someone's smooth breathing nearby. I could hear the footsteps of people walking the building. Slowly I opened my eyes, tentatively. Everything seemed blurry at first, but the more I blinked the more I could see the more clearly. I was still in Voldemort's house. I turned my head ever so slightly and gasped aloud when I saw how closed he was to me. He was a barely meter away from hair was in his face, but he didn't seem to care. Odd, Voldemort seemed like the type of person who care about his appearance from the top to bottom. But no, instead he was staring at me intently with his silver eyes. I shivered at the intensity of his stare. I looked away quickly. He still didn't say anything. I could still feel his burning stare. I tried closing my eyes and forgetting everything and going to sleep, but I couldn't, not when I could feel his burning stare .

"So,'' I said trying to break the ice-tight tension, "What happened?''

"I'm not sure, I tried to heal you '' he said slowly "how are you feeling?''

"Better" I replied tiredly.

Things were clicking together, why would he care about me? Logically he shouldn't care about what happened, he should have left me to die, not caring. I knew that I shouldn't push the subject but curiosity got the better of me,

"Why did you heal me?You shouldn't care about me.''

"Because'' he said quietly "you are mine''

The explanation scared me, what was he going to do to me after I recovered? I turned my head to him, he was still staring at me. There was no expression or emotion in his eyes or his face. So I simply stared back at him.

Suddenly he said " are you hungry? You've been out for the past 24 hours.''

My eyes bulged out, the past 24 hours? Have I really been for that long? But the look on his face did not suggest that he was joking. Well I might as well eat, there was no use of just staring at him. So I nodded. He nodded and quickly got up gracefully and walked away. Barely a two minutes passed and he was back, carrying a tray with food; a small salad, a small bowl of stew and a piece of bread. He set it on an antique table nearby and slowly helped me sit up. I winced at the pain that my lower back and neck. He noticed and frowned slightly,

"Don't move'' he commanded and walked away but reappeared almost instantaneously with a small bottle.

"Turn around'' he said.

I shook my head stubbornly. I was not going to turn my back on him , in fear that he might curse me. He sighed, and I could feel his frustration at me.

"I'm not going to curse you'' he said very annoyed

"I'm trying to help you for merlin's sake!''

I snorted in disbelief.

"You helping me?'' I retorted, "I'd like to see you try.''

Honestly, did he really think that I'd believe him? Did he really think that just because he heals me that I could forget all the pain that the caused? No, I don't forgive easily anymore. But instead of looking angry, he looked at me like I was a child and his twinkled with amusement.

"My dear, I'm not going to kill you.'' he said.

"Sure'' I snorted "What were you doing in the forest, the graveyard and Diagon Alley?''

He smiled and said,

"My dear, most of time, it was an act of self-defence.''

I snorted in amusement, really. How stupid did he really think I was?

"I'm not stupid.'' I said scathingly " half of the time you were using dark magic and you used the Cruciatus curse on me.''

He did not even blink at my accusations. In fact, he smiled and said

"I'm not stupid either, not turn around before I have to curse you again.''

"Try me.'' I snapped.

His eyes flashed a dangerous colour and quickly he raised his wand, I mentally winced and wanted to back down. But I wasn't in Gryffindor for nothing. So I sat taller and waited stubbornly for the pain that was going to come. But that never happened, instead I heard him say.

"Imperio''

I felt the same feeling as when I was fading away from the world. I felt light happiness. Distantly I could hear him ask me to turn around. I felt my mind tell me to stop and question on what I was doing but my body felt obliged to do what he ask. It was an internal battle between my body and my mind. At the end my body won, and obediently I turned around. Slowly I felt his cold hands touch my neck. I heard him uncork the bottle that he was holding. Suddenly I felt something cold and oily touch my neck. I tried to scream but I was too lost in the world of light happiness. Suddenly the pain in my neck was gone and my neck was in bliss. I sighed in relief and felt the same oily and cold touch, touch my lower back and just like my neck the pain was gone. My whole body was in bliss now. He lifted the curse and I came back to the world. Sad, that I had just left the amazing world of bliss and happiness. I quickly turned around and saw Voldemort standing there with an odd expression on his face. Before I could say anything he quickly said

"eat the food on the table.''

And with that he turned around and quickly exited the room.


	7. Chapter 7

I stared wordlessly at the place where he just stood moments ago. There were many questions buzzing in my mind, but I was too shocked to really think about them. Wordlessly I walked to the small table and began to munch on the peice of bread. It tasted like nothing in my mouth. It felt like sand in my mouth. What just happened? Did Voldemort use a curse on me to help me? My mind was whirling, I never felt so confused.

Suddenly I something cold and icy on my neck. I screamed and jumped.

"Calm down'' he said.

"I'm sorry'' I gasped "you just startled me.''

"I'm sorry.'' He said in a courteous tone "I didn't mean to.''

I snorted, but let it pass. So I continued to eat the bread. I felt eyes bore into my head, but I pretended to not notice.

"Why?'' I asked quietly.

"Why, what?'' He asked.

"Why did you help me, why are you doing this, and don't give me your usual answer. You shouldn't care about me, why ?''

My voice rose an octave with each question I asked, making me sound insane. I whirled around and looked at him with desperation.

"Why?''

He did not replied, he just stared at me. I felt myself got more insane.

"Answer me! Why?''

"Because'' he said "there's something about you I can't understand. It's like an obsession.''

"Obsession!'' I squeaked

"Yes'' he confirming my fears "obsession.''

I shook my head, trying to understand what was going on.

"Why am I your….obsession?''

"Because'' he said slowly "you are like a drug to me, everytime I'm near you, something goes on inside of me, it's like what happens when you drink too much firewhiskey.''

I stared at him, shocked at what he just said. He stared back at me, intently. His grey eyes were dark full of something that I couldn't tell.

"But..'' I stammered " you're Voldemort, you don't care about anything or anyone. You are something who doesn't feel.''

"I know.'' He said quietly.

Behind voice words I could hear a tiny voice that seemed to be pleading for help. A voice that was filled with desperation. For the first time, I could sympathize what he was feeling. I looked into his eyes and realized with a jolt that his eyes was filled with desperation, it seemed to be begging me to help him. But how could I help him, when I'm not even sure of anything.

"Please'' he said quietly " just leave me alone right now.''

I obeyed quietly, I walked past him, trying to keep my emotions at bay, but I was failing miserably. As I entered the other room, they too were gray and dark. It felt like this house was filled with evil that could never be banished. I shivered unconsciously and felt tears drip down my cheek. I stopped, why was I crying? I tried wiping them away, but more followed until I was freely crying and there was a small damp puddle on floor. I stared out the window, trying to understand what was going on with me. But all I could think of was all the things that he had just said to me. The things that he revealed. Many questions were buzzing in my head; what was so special about me? Why was I so special. I only met him roughly two days ago and now here I was in his house.

I was too busy in my thoughts to hear him walk in the room. Suddenly I was jolted when I heard him say.

"Come, I'll show you to your room.''

I nodded blindly following him as he lead me through room after room until he stopped at a door and nodded. Slowly I opened the door and walked inside; it was quite plain inside , all there was was a bed, slytherin green. There was a small nightstand and it was connected to small but useable washroom. The walls were painted light grey and there was a window covered by a pitch black curtain.

I stared at the room quietly, not daring to move or make a sound. The way the room was set up, reminded me of the dorms at Hogwart's. Except it was darker and filled with more scared me slightly, but most of all, it reminded me of the fun I had at Hogwarts. I was lost in memories;sneaking out of dorms in the middle of the night,listening to Lavender Brown's snoring, the midnight reading I did in third year. The Christmas presents I got every year. It made me sad to think of all the things that I left, all the things that war had destroyed. Suddenly with a jolt I realized that I have been standing in the same position for the past, what seemed like fifteen minutes. Lost in my own memories. I forgot to thank Voldemort for the room!

" Thank you for the room.'' I said quietly. But there was no reply, there was only silence. So I whirled around, Voldemort had vanished. And I was confronted by nothing.


	8. Chapter 8

For the next several days, I began to adjust to my new our slightly emotional encounter, Voldemort and I rarely talked to each and none of us bothered each other. To be straight, we ignored each other. But inside it felt weird and scary. Every morning I would lay in bed until I could hear leave the house, then slowly I would eat breakfast. Later I might leave the house, and wander around Knockturn alley, or just take a walk. But I would make sure I got back in the house before he came back. We would eat dinner and retire to our own bedrooms and go to sleep. Then the cycle would repeat again and again. Things were getting I didn't want to complain. Sometimes when Voldemort came home, he would be in a bad mood, he would stomp in the house and sometimes cause destruction in the house. It was frightening and scared me.

Well today, it seemed like one of his bad days, I could hear him slam the front door with brutal force, slowly I retired to my room, quietly shutting the door behind me. Hoping that he would calm down soon. Not a chance, a few minutes later I could things breaking things, I could hear glass shattering and tables breaking. I curled into a small bed on my bed and tried to block the noise. No luck, I could hear him fluently cussing and destroying things.

Suddenly he wrenched open my door, I screamed in fear and surprise. His hair was all messed up and his was filled with sweat and anger was written all over his body was shaking visibly with anger. His eyes was a mix between grey and red. It was frightening. Slowly I asked tentatively.

"Is everything alright.''

"Does it look like things are alright?'' He asked .

His voiced filled with visible anger. I stared at him, my knees were shaking now. This is the worst tantrum that he has had so far. I was getting scared at what he could to me. Things were getting out of hand. I needed to calm him fast.

"What happened?'' I asked, venturing to ask him.

"What happened?'' He said in a mocking tone, "stupid customers is what happened. My stupid life is what happened!''

I could only understand to the bare minimal of what he was saying. I tried to calm him down.

"Why don't you sit down, and you can tell me what happen.''

He snorted, looked at me with a strange expression and left the room. But not before slamming the door. I winced at the sound. I sighed in frustration, what was up with his mood swings? They were honestly giving me a he was fine,but then bam,he would be all angry and he would destroy things.

Slowly I got up and walked toward the door, I didn't know what I was I felt was the need to talk to him, to understand. So I got up and walked out of the room. I found him in the living room, looking out the window. From the reflection off the window, I could tell that he was in a trance; his face had no emotion, nor did his eyes. He was exceptionally still. His eyes were blank. He looked a statue. Slowly I crept up to him, until I was right behind him. Yet he still didn't move from his original position. Slowly I touched his shoulder tentatively. Suddenly he whirled around. Scaring out of my wits, I jumped a foot in the air and screamed at the top of my lungs. Suddenly I felt the world go slightly dark for a moment, and I felt something covering my mouth harshly, preventing me from making any sound.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?'' Voldemort demanded.

I didn't answer, instead I squirmed away from his tight grip, but it was no use. I tried screaming, but ended up gagging.

"Voldemort'' I stuttered '' you're choking me..''

I used my hands and tried to pry his hands from my mouth. I could feel his grip tightened for a moment before reluctantly letting me go. I looked up and saw that his face was filled with an emotion that I couldn't name.

"I was hurting you?'' He asked.

"Yes, you were.'' I said quietly.

I heard him take a deep breath.

"Well then, I'm sorry that I hurt you.''

"I forgive you.'' I said quietly smiling.

'Don't.'' He said harshly.

"What do you mean?'' I asked confusedly

"Don't forgive me, I don't' deserve that luxury. '' He spat at me.

" Why?'' I asked, knowing very well why.

"You know.'' He sneered "you know what I did and what I am capable of. Why are still here forgiving me when you know what I've done?''

"Because'' I said gently " I may be still angry with you, and trust I am, but this, something much bigger. But I will forgive you for this.''

He sneered again and whisper something that sounded something like "weak''.

"Trust me'' I said my voice much stronger now. " It's not weakness to forgive, it shows how wise you are.''

" Fine.'' He spat "forgive me on this tiny thing, but not other things.''

"Because, the other things were not as small as hurting me.'' I said firmly, my voice no longer gentle, but fierce.

"I accept your forgiveness.'' He said after a short pause."But I don't deserve it. I want to right my sins, but I won't and I can't.''

I gaped at him, this was so off character, he was supposed to angry, and full of hatred. Not sad and full of regret.

"Forgive yourself.'' I said quietly.

"Who can forgive themselves for murder?'' He asked.

"Yourself, first.''

He snorted and stared back at the window.

Slowly I started to walk away not wanting to disturb anymore, but not before saying

"You know what Voldemort? You'll feel this pain until you begin you forgive yourself. Recovery begins with forgiveness.''


	9. Chapter 9

After our conversation in the living room, Voldemort and I rarely spoke, out of embarrassment. None of us could believe that we actually had this type of emotional conversation. At least I felt embarrassed, I just told the dark lord to forgive himself, even worse I told him that I forgave him. It felt weird, and after some thought I just realized that I was truly fraternizing with the enemy. But for some reason, it felt just right. I shook my head at the idea of him, but believe it or not. Sometimes after the talk, I thought of him a lot. Sometimes my ideas of him weren't exactly the thoughts you would have of an enemy. I rarely thought of Ron and Harry, mostly Draco and Voldemort. Sometimes only Draco, sometimes only Voldemort. My dreams were now haunted by them; Draco telling me to keep my head up and Voldemort hissing words in my ears. My dreams were confusing, and scary. When I would wake up, I would be covered in sweat, sometimes crying for no reason.

Everyday, I would wake up and tentatively wander into the kitchen, no longer waiting for him to leave. I felt like I gained some type of confidence. But when we didn't speak. He would just be sitting and sipping and some tea, I would fix some breakfast and when I was roughly half-way down my meal, he would leave for work. I still continued to take walks and be lost in my own thoughts, it helped calmed me down and make me feel better deep inside. I would think of everything I've been through, I would question my motives, why I chose to forgive him, why I chose to comfort him. Over and over again those questions would rage in my head, I only had one answer, because I was done being angry, I was done being angry. I wanted peace, I wanted happiness, I wanted to live and laugh and I wanted to be in love again, most importantly I wanted to be loved again. But wishes are never granted carelessly, so I was left everyday wanting something that I knew that I probably would never get. I would yearn everyday. But I would always return back to his reason. I could never figure out why I did, I felt so obliged to, that I couldn't resist it. It was compelling. When I returned I would usually just wait a couple of hours and he would be back. Then we would make our own dinner's. His anger fits had decreased by a surprising amount, they only happened once or twice. In fact it was rare to see him in a rage. There was some sort of peace that had magically settled over the house. But still there was tension in the house because we weren't talking. It drove me insane. Finally I had enough of it, I yearned to talk again.

So when he came home one day, I waited for him to return home and retreat to his room. I went to the kitchen and made not one but two sandwiches, and poured two glasses of water. And I waited nervously in the kitchen. Finally after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally came out of his room. I smiled thoughtfully at the way his hair was still neat and prim but that smile immediately faded as he came in the kitchen with a blank scary expression. Wordlessly I handed him one of the sandwiches. He stared at me for a second before saying in a courteous tone.

"Thank you very much. I appreciate it.''

"Your welcome'' I said hoarsely.

It seemed like I had lost my ability to speak.

Slowly he walked to the table and began to eat the sandwich, completely ignoring me. Suddenly I couldn't stand it, I did something out of kindness and all he does is ignore me!

"This needs to stop!'' I said firmly.

He continued on eating as if he hadn't heard me.

"Stop it.'' I said my voice rising with each word.

Slowly he turned around and looked at me with slight amusement.

"Stop what?''

"You know what, you can't just start ignoring me and act like certain things had never happened.''

He smiled, clearly getting more amused with my behavior. He rolled his eyes.

" Maybe it's because there is nothing left to say.''

I shook my head .

"There are lot's of things to say.''

"No, not really.'' He said, amusement no longer written on his face.

I sighed, he had to understand that you couldn't just let something go that easily.

"You left many things undiscussed.''

"So did you.'' He pointed out smugly.

"Because you dismissed me'' I argued back.

"You clearly could have rebelled and stayed.''

"I felt bad for you.''

The moment those words left my mouth I immediately regretted those words. He stared at me hard for two minutes before saying with venom in his tone.

"I don't want your pity, mudblood.''

My hands shook slightly when he said that word, despite the fact that I have been used to hearing those words over and over again. For some reason, coming from him it hurt much more. It felt like knives stabbing into my guts one at a time. I don't know why his words hurt beyond belief. I quickly looked down at my feet, trying to stop shaking so violently. It was no use, instead I began to shake more violently. It got to the point where my whole body was shaking. Slowly I took deep breaths and started to feel the shaking stop. Finally when I felt calm enough I started to look up , but avoiding looking at him. Finally after a long, tense pause I heard him say.

" Are you alright?''

I stared at him incredulously, did he think that I was alright?

"Yes, of course I am.'' I said sarcastically

"I thought you were tougher than that.'' He said trying to make a lame excuse or something.

I didn't answer him, I started leave the kitchen when I heard him sat,

"Wait, Hermione.''He called.

I turned around furiously.

"Don't call me that.'' I snapped. "Call me mudblood or something.''

For once he looked slightly sheepish and guilty.

"But..''

Before he could finish his sentence, I quickly said.

"Don't give me your lame excuses anymore. You are the high Lord Voldemort and I am just a poor lowly mudblood that you can't stand. I'm just a useless pawn that you just keep for recreational reasons!''

"Don't call yourself that'' he said quietly.

"Then why the bloody hell do you?'' I screamed angrily.

"I felt so angry and mad.'' He said slowly, his eyes seemed like they were begging for forgiveness.

"Haha'' I said sarcastically "that seems like all you do these days. Be Lord Voldemort and be angry and mad all the time!''

He shook his head violently.

"I'm sorry.'' He said quietly.

"Ha! Lord Voldemort's sorry!'' I spat.

"Stop it!'' He yelled back at me.

For a moment I was struck dumb for two seconds.

"Stop what?'' I asked cautiously.

"Don't call me that name anymore!'' He yelled angrily and frustratedly

"Why?''

"I just..I don't know'' he said desperately "it makes me feel bad.''

I snorted, sure as if he felt bad about his name. He chose his name!

"Fine'' I said shortly " I'll bite, what do you want me to call you then?''

He bit his lip nervously before saying quietly .

"Call me Tom.''


	10. Chapter 10

"Tom?'' I asked questioningly "don't you hate that name?''

He hesitated for a moment before saying.

" It's better than that name.''

I nodded in mutual understanding. I could only imagine what it felt like to be called a name that you hated over and over again. It would drive me insane, not that that I wasn't feeling insane. Slowly I began to leave the kitchen and I heard him say.

"Nice talking to you.''

I snorted quietly and began heading to my room.

That night I dreamt that I was a field of flowers, with all sorts of colours. Harry, Ron and Draco were standing on the opposite side, smiling and looking oddly peaceful. I smiled and began to walk toward them but then I felt a familiar cold grip on my wrist. I shivered subconsciously and immediately turned around to see Tom smiling at me. He looked tragically beautiful and his grey eyes were a beautiful shade and were full of again I turned around to see Harry and Ron and Draco, they were no longer smiling, in fact they're expression were neutral. To be frank it unnerved me slightly. They made no move toward me. I yearned to go to them but Tom's grip on my wrist stopped me. I was torn between him and my old life. I looked at him again and that's when I heard Draco say.

"Hermione, how could you stay with him?''

The hurt in his voice hurt me like a thousand sharp daggers piercing me over and over again in my heart.

"Yeah Hermione.'' Ron's voice butted in "how could you stay with the enemy?'

Emotions swirled around me and left me breathless, it left me panting with the intensity of the pain of emotions. But his voice somehow made things better.

"Hermione, please.''

His voice was like medicine that could soothe the pain, and with those two words. I felt better, the only emotion that remained was guilt; guilt because for the past few days, all I have been thinking about was mostly him, helping him, talking to him. Almost everything was about him. And guilt was probably the worst emotion of all.

"Hermione.'' Draco said, his voice was filled with disappointment.

Once again my body was filled with those startling painful emotions but when Tom speaks again, it makes me feel better. But never takes away the newfound guilt.

"Hermione, please stay with me. I can give you things that you would have never imagined.''

Suddenly I felt a surge of anger and quickly rounded on him.

"No, Tom. I won't go with you. I don't want anything from you because you can't give me it. You can't give me things that I could ever imagined! I want love and you can't give it to me!''

He smiles childishly and says.

"I can give you love, in fact I can give you more love, love to the point where it consumes you.''

I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the temptation and desire he was giving me. I closed my eyes trying to control myself. When I opened my eyes, I saw that he was edging closer to me and his eyes staring intently at me . My breaths were becoming shallower and shallower. As soon as he was an ear-shot away from me he leaned and tenderly kissed my cheek, making me blush.

"This is not real'' I thought delusionally.

But it felt real. I tried to tell myself that he couldn't possibly love me. But it was impossible when all I could think of him. Suddenly I heard a revolted sigh behind me.

I whipped around just in time to see Draco staring at me in hurt and betrayal. I felt an immense sea of guilt that swept me off my feet. I tried to remain stable but my knees were trembling heavily and I found it quite hard to stand.

I tried walking to him but I could feel an invisible force pulling me toward Tom even though he wasn't touching me anymore. I felt myself closer to Tom, despite my efforts to move closer to Draco. Suddenly I felt Tom's arms embrace me and just like he said it started to consume me. Not his embrace but the emotion behind it. It was love, most definitely love, Nothing else could smother me. But I kept my eyes on Draco and before my own horrified eyes I saw him drop dead and blood was dripping from his chest, his heart. I saw his hand clutch his chest as though his heart was aching. Suddenly it struck me. He had died of heartache. He died because he had just seen the girl he had loved in the arms of the enemy. I saw Harry and Ron stare at me with the most uttermost disappointment. And they too started to slowly grab their chest and slowly to fall to the ground. I screamed in Tom's embrace. It felt too awful to describe. But I kept on watching as blood pooled from their chests and their empty expressions. I felt Tom smile and I kept on screaming. I screamed to the point where I felt like my lungs and vocal-cords would burst. But it didn't matter I just saw the death of my best friends and my dearest lover. How could anyone just stand there?

Suddenly I awoke to the feeling of Tom's hands running soothingly up and down my back. I started to cry and sob uncontrollably. I tried to push him away but he held strong, still soothingly running up and down my back. Eventually I began to calm down and I told myself that I was just a bad dream but no, I couldn't shake the feelings off that I had felt during my dream; the smothering of love, the horrifying deaths, the sea of guilt. It always came back to me as though they were trying to give me terrible reminders of the world that I have dreamt. The sounds of their disappointment still heard in my ears.

"Bad dream?'' Tom asked tenderly.

I nodded, tears still running down my cheeks.

"Do you want to talk about it?''

I shook my head, wanting to forget about my terrible nightmare. But their voices keep on ringing in my head.

"Alright then.'' He said tenderly.

Slowly he enveloped me into his warm embrace. I tried to resist him but it was so comforting that I started to melt in his sweet embrace, it felt nothing like the one in my dreams. It felt better, sweeter. It made me feel safe and away from the troubles that started to haunt my mind. And so I fell asleep in his sweet embrace.

The next morning I woke up to feel someone's tender grip around me. I relaxed slightly and felt safe. It felt just like a little a child stowed away in it's mother's arms. It felt amazing.

"Are you alright?'' Tom asked .

I nodded serenely feeling peace but with a small feeling of guilt. He looked at me and I smiled at him and he smiled back. And we lay there for the until noon. When he left for work and for once I didn't take a walk. Instead I stayed in the house and waited until he came back home.


	11. Chapter 11

The few days were probably the most peaceful days I've had since the war began. But they were also the most guilt-filled days of my life. It felt like I had people on my shoulders.

One day Tom came home to find me staring at the window, tears rolling silently down my eyes.

"Hermione'' he said tenderly "what's wrong?''

"Nothing.'' I said quietly trying disguise my stuffed voice, but all my efforts were in vain.

"Don't lie to me'' he said gently "I can easily tell that you're upset. Tell me, what's wrong?''

"Everything.'' I whispered quietly.

"Everything?'' He questioned.

"Yes!'' I whipped around to look at him, tears still sliding on my cheeks.

"I spend half my time with you, the enemy! I don't even think about my friends and family at home! I don't even know why I am even here, why I'm not dead or why am I trying to talk to you!''

He looked quite sober and quiet. I stared at him, feeling guilty for hurting him but another side felt the relief of telling someone the truth, the feelings and thoughts that have been bugging me for many hours. But on the other hand the guilt started to weigh me down, not making the relief worth it.

"Tom.'' I said "I'm so sorry, but I...I need to go back.''

"Back where?'' He sneered slightly "you have no home to go back to Hermione. You're stuck with me.''

"No'' I said firmly, shaking my head. "I was always have a home.''

"Oh please enlighten me.'' He said sarcastically "Where?''

"Dumbledore." I said quietly.

"Dumbledore?'' He asked snorting with ill-concealed laughter. "And what may I ask are you going to tell Dumbledore?''

"I was struck dumb for two minutes, because he was right. His logic seemed perfect. What would I tell Dumbledore? Hi, I'm from the future and I want to go home? No, that sounded very childish and what made me think that Dumbledore was still in the U.K? I stared at him, trying to think of a witty comeback. But I couldn't think of one. How would Dumbledore react?

"See?'' He sneered "you're stuck with me.''

I stared at him before impulsively making a run toward the door but he was too fast and he caught my arm roughly, I gasped at the sudden pain. He hadn't used that type of force on me since the graveyard incident.I tried to free my arm from his terrible grasp but he did not relent. Instead he held on tighter.

"And just when I thought that you were tolerable.'' He hissed "you pull something like this?''

I shook my head desperately, still trying to free my arm. He began to push me to the ground and yell at me.

"After everything that has happened, you decide to say this! You still call me Tom even though you consider me the enemy, how dare you! You are a filthy mudblood''

I gulped at each of his words. They stung me like knives and hit me like metal fist. They struck me mentally and made me unable to think. All I could think of was the words he was launching at me. They hurt just as bad as when Draco called me a mudblood. At the end of his fit of yelling, I was on the floor crying silently, now he was calling me weak. But I was past listening to him anymore. Now he was throwing across the room and making a big glass time he opened his mouth to yell or speak it jabbed me harshly. I honestly wish that I would die.

"What's wrong with you?''He yelled at me. "Why are you just crying there? You are useless.''

I cried even more. Hating how weak I appeared, I tried to stop the flow of emotionally sad tears but no, they continued steadily with no sign of stopping. Suddenly he stopped and glared at me. I felt the intensity of his glare. I was the same as driving a knife through my brain. Except it felt worse, because it was so emotional.

"Forget it.'' He spat.

He left the room and didn't enter again. I felt pain, sad pain. I lost my only friend, my only ally in this time period. And now he had deserted me and made me feel something that I have never felt this stupid and dumb and useless. During my time with Harry, Ron and Draco I felt useful, the one who would help them and save them from harm. With Tom I feel useless and that makes me feel bad. It's a foreign feeling and it unsettles me heavily. It made me feel something different; mad, sad and depressed and it hurts. More so because for some reason it's from Tom. I feel now like Tom's my god, make him unhappy and angry at you, your world seems to collapsed into the realm of nothing. It's an emotion that hards to explain, a feeling that causes terrible jolts in your stomach. Slowly I regained the confidence to look up and I what I saw horrified me; there were glass shards everywhere, there were like a million little diamonds spread across the floor. Beautiful yet deadly. I then finally began to comprehend what had just happened. I had just hurt Tom's feelings and let him take control, I didn't fight for my defence. What kind of Gryffindor was I? That thought left me feeling terribly dejected. What happened to the old Hermione Granger? The old Hermione Granger certainly wouldn't have just let someone yell at her without lifting a finger to defend herself. She would of stood up for herself, say her opinions. Not me, I was a coward, I let Tom yell at me. The old Hermione Granger wouldn't have even bothered to become friends with that monster, she would have ignored him and have found a way to kill him. I was no longer the old Hermione Granger, I didn't know who I was anymore and that thought left me even more depressed. What have I done?

Slowly I sat myself up and surveyed the room further, wincing as my hands brushed some of the glass shards, creating bright floods of red on my palms. I hardly noticed the pain I felt some kind of numbness that had settled in me mentally. I couldn't think straight I felt like I was in some sort of bubble, preventing me from feeling and thinking. It felt odd but it felt somehow familiar. It felt oddly like what it felt like when I was running away from Death Eaters; nothing, like you were floating. But this feeling was not as relaxed, it was much more tense. I shook my head trying to clear some thoughts away, it worked, slightly. Now all I could think about was these things; Tom and I had gotten into a fight, I have no one and no where to go to and no where to run. I had lost my only ally, my only friend the only person who bothered to put some effort into me. And I had just threw that all away. I was now alone and it felt empty. It echoed through my mind and body, making me feel hollow. Slowly I began to cry again, I had probably done the worst thing possible. I had lost my ally, I had no where to go and no way of going back home and away from the nightmare I was living in right now. Things had spun out of control so fast. What was point of being here? No one cared about me, who would care that if I had died? Before Tom could have cared but not anymore now and all because of the stupid things that I had said. Slowly I moved around some more, still feeling hot tears running down my cheeks and feeling sharp jabs in my body where my body came into contact with the glass shards. Suddenly I made what seemed to be a mad decision,I spotted a larger and sharper shard of glass and grabbed for it, no longer caring about the pain that I would be receiving. I just wanted things to stop, to stop living in this nightmare, to stop worrying I wanted peace and to be worry free.

I grabbed the shard of glass and ran my fingers through the sharp jagged edges, it would be perfect. Slowly I raised the shard of glass and stared off into the distance my heart beating more rapidly, reminding myself of the peace that I would be at soon, how I would be truly free. Slowly my heart slowed down and I took what appeared to be my last breath of my life.

"I'm so sorry.'' I said quietly with no regret " I'm ready.''

Finally I began to thrust the glass into my stomach wincing when I felt the terrible pain when it entered. Dizzly I saw blooding rushing out my body, it scared me slightly. But that was okay, I would be at peace soon. Slowly I could feel the life starting to rush of me, I finally saw what I was supposed to see; I saw my life rushing through my eyes. I saw my childhood when I was busy reading and chasing butterflies in the yard, when I was young and carefree and not caring. I saw my parents smiling proudly when I got my acceptance letter to Hogwarts and how they waved to me proudly when I boarded the train. I saw when I was with Harry and Ron, and all of little adventures at Hogwarts. I saw Draco and his perfect smirk and smile. I smiled too knowing that I was going to where he was. Suddenly I saw the days becoming darker, I saw the death mark, I saw people dying in the muggle world. I saw Harry, Ron and I looking for horcruxes. I saw the battle of Hogwarts and the desperation when they died, the grief when I saw Draco dying again. Suddenly I saw my parents died, their lifeless eyes staring at nothing. I couldn't bear to close their eyes but now I yearned to. I wanted to close their eyes so they wouldn't see the chaos around them. Finally I saw myself running away from the danger. Finally I saw myself in the world of Tom, looking lost, nearly dying, talking with him. I watched him comfort me after that terrible nightmare. I yearned for things to go back to that moment, where I felt safe and happy. But I smiled knowing nothing could hurt me anymore. I was dying. As the last memory of glass shards starting fading through my mind. I could hear someone distantly calling my name. When I opened my eyes, Tom's worried face was my last memory before things became dark and blurry.


End file.
